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Hillbilly Horoscopes


Horoscopes
Fresh Porch-Pickin’ Horoscopes
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Sagittarius (Aug. 2025)
Money and increased financial independence are on the way! Stay put in your current job. Your hard work is paying off, plus Ben in...


Libra (Aug. 2025)
Your adventurous nature will lead you to go on a cave tour, however you will lose track of your group. Start learning how to make friends...


Aquarius (Aug. 2025)
In your free time you like to entertain others, an admirable quality, however, your casting in that murder mystery production last fall...


Capricorn (Aug. 2025)
You’ve been needing extra energy to get through the day, which is understandable after your office chair spontaneously combusted last...


Scorpio (Aug. 2025)
This would be a good week to relax and recover. You have been pushing the limits of safety and sanity lately. Rock climbing is an...


Virgo (Aug. 2025)
You’ve thought about getting in better shape which is fine but go slow. Ankle sprains and calf strains are possible. So, maybe start off...


Leo (Aug. 2025)
Your circle of “friends” will grow. You’re getting a new roommate, and they’ll complement you in a number of ways. The only thing is they...


Pisces (Aug. 2025)
Pisces: Continue to cultivate your hobbies, new and old. If experimenting with food just remember Pumpkin spice isn't needed in all fall dishes.
Pisces husbands: Your significant other has been sleep talking about smothering you in your sleep, today would be a good day to take the kids and fur babies out while they relax.
Pisces air traffic controllers: A career change is on the horizon as your narcolepsy has made your co-workers increasingly nervous.
Clothes to wear: Sw


Aries (Aug. 2025)
You’re frustrated with your job and the promotions you have been passed over for. I hear you. Stay the course and don’t cut your bosses...


Taurus (Aug. 2025)
Relax! You have been pushing yourself too hard lately. Time to pamper yourself. Get a medium-priced spa package. You know the one that...


Gemini (Aug. 2025)
Now is the time for change and challenge. Time to finish that schooling that will get you a better job. Just remember that nap and snack...


Cancer (Aug. 2025)
This week would be a good week to take some cooking classes. Your “famous” chili has led to a few unfortunate ER visits for multiple...
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